The Way You Look Tonight
by ManyMes
Summary: Arthur is a writer trying desperately to hide it as well as his sexuality from his father. Merlin is in med school but is working at a small restaurant on the side. There he meets Arthur. Their life together begins. Will have plenty of characters from the show and a few I have created myself. I hope you enjoy. Rating is M for some chapters. All will have a warning.
1. Promise

**So this is my first story. I fell in love with a Merthur story just before school started and since it ended I needed something else. So this is kind of inspired by that story. Although I am in no way copying it. I hope to get the first few chapters up within days of each other. Then I will try to post a new chapter each week. But I can't make any promises because it is my senior year and I got to get those college applications done.**

Rain pours down on the streets. Arthur searches for a place, any place, just as long as it would get him out of this rain and allow him to work. Up ahead, at the corner, a stone structure takes the place of the first floor of a two-story building. Outside a small wooden sign reads "Sniffy's". Arthur was a good five blocks from the office. He thought it was good enough. He hasn't traveled so far to avoid his father in a while. He ducked inside, shaking his head to be rid of some of the water that soaked his scalp.

The large room is shaped like a pentagon. A small stage is catty-cornered directly across from him. Immediately to the right are the doors to what appears to be the kitchen. The rest of the walls, which are stone inside as well, have half circle booths, large enough for a party of eight, cut out of them. Low, deeply stained wooden tables sit centered around these half-circles while smaller, but almost identical tables are scattered about the center of the room. Each has three chairs, covered in deep red velvet like the booths, tucked underneath all angled toward the stage.

Two booths are occupied along with a few tables. Despite the sign that clearly read "Please, wait to be seated." Arthur made his way over to the closest booth to his right. It supplied a lot of work space for him. As the evening went on the atmosphere grew vibrantly. People started to gather for a weekly open-mic night. The center tables are quickly filled with laughter and soft chit-chat. Arthur relaxes at his booth but still stares at a bunch of crumpled papers and a blank screen. He settles for people watching. A very amusing comedian is just wrapping up when Arthur caught sight of him leaning against a thick wooden beam.

His mouth is sprawled out in a wide grin, laughing along with the rest of the audience. Although, it was clear he is part of the kitchen crew when Arthur notices the all black, properly creased clothes with an apron tied around his waist. It is just something about that jet black hair spiked in every direction that causes Arthur to not want to look away. Eventually an older woman comes out and taps the man on the shoulder. It was time for the beautiful boy to return to work. Arthur reluctantly turns back to his own work, a new idea spilling out onto the paper.

* * *

><p>Merlin glances over his shoulder again. He's never seen someone so focused for so long. He adds the dirty plates to the tub Gwaine is taking to the back.<p>

"I'll set them back there but I'm not gonna wash them!" Gwaine calls behind him as he walks through the doors to the kitchen.

Merlin laughs and wipes his hands on the same towel he has been using to wipe off the empty tables. He watches as the blonde scribbles something down on a napkin then turn to type it up on his laptop.

"Why not just type it in the first place?" Merlin asks as he approaches the table and sets down his towel.

"Doesn't work like that, the thought's too…..." He glances up to see the restaurant clear of people. The only ones left are himself and Merlin. His eyes take a second to focus on Merlin. "…quick. Are you guys closing?"

Merlin looks around at the deserted room. "Kind of. We kick people out at 11:30 but Buddy and May think you're a friend of mine. You're welcome by the way, saved you from a toad in your soup probably. How can a thought be too quick?"

But the blonde isn't listening anymore. At the mention of the time he had started to hurrily pack up his stuff. He only registers the words after he is already standing with the strap of the laptop case over his shoulder. "Sorry, I have to go…..wait…a toad?"

Merlin tries to hid the smirk that falls to his lips. "Why don't you come back tomorrow and I'll explain it after you explain a too quick thought."

The blonde shifts the strap again. "I can't, I have somewhere to be tomorrow." For some reason he sounds like he's giving a sheepish excuse to an angry parent. It was a pretty lame one.

"No problem." Merlin says. "I'll tell you,…."

"Arthur"

"Arthur, if you find time in that oh, so busy schedule of yours come back and I promise you a good story. Just ask for Merlin."

Arthur's gaze is unreadable but at the very least stays fixed on Merlin for a few steps as he heads for the door. Merlin watches the door swing shut.

Gwaine cuffs him on the shoulder and Merlin turns. He needs no words to know what Gwaine is thinking. Luckily, Gwaine says nothing, just gives Merlin a knowing smirk as he hands him the keys to the restaurant and heads out the same door Arthur just had.

**In case you wanted to take a look at the story this was inspired by it _A Race To Love _by Utsaah**


	2. Life

**I had meant to get this up a couple of days ago. Sorry, but school really does come first. But, I have practically a full free day tomorrow so if you are lucky a new chapter might be up tomorrow night. If not it's probably because I am trying to make the chapters longer. This chapter contains one or two cuss words. I don't believe in censoring so if you don't like don't read. It's rate M for a reason.**

Merlin walks through the doors and looks at the large room. It is still early in the afternoon so there are only a few people here. He makes his way over to the same table Arthur had been sitting at last night. He settles himself in the middle and starts to pull out his books.

Med school had not been easy on him. There had been times when he had considered not going to graduate school. But his focus always returned and his fascination for the human body never ceased. Honestly, he is just disappointed at the experience. He couldn't learn with just book work. He needs a new way of trying to absorb the gibberish he was reading. But, he had no ideas so nose-glued-to-book was how it was going to have to be. He was just scribbling down the effect of serotonin on sleep habits when May caught him.

"Honestly, boy, how hard is it to read a sign. And don't say you can't your nose is in that book too often for me to know otherwise." She wags her finger, but nonetheless still sets down the coffee she had brought for him.

Merlin looks up with a smile on his face. "I'll start reading the sign when you and Buddy start bringing me what I actually order for once."

May shakes her head. "Nonsense, if you want to eat like an unhealthy pig then you can march right out that door, mister." Her finger is pointed at the front door.

Merlin smiles and regardless of the fact that he isn't hungry and hasn't ordered anything he still asks. "So, I should expect my food when?"

"15 minutes." May reports happily. She walks back to the kitchen and leaves Merlin to his studying.

* * *

><p>Arthur walks into the office fiddling with his tie. He really hates wearing a suit.<p>

"Ah, Arthur! We were just about to start. You're tie is crooked, here, let me." His father straightens his tie and moves on to adjust his collar as well. Arthur shakes him off.

"Please, father. I look fine."

Uther looks his son in the eye. "Arthur, I expect you to behave today. You are to take over the firm someday. These men need to admire you, respect you."

"Yes, father." Arthur's eyes are on the floor.

Uther pats his son on the back and pushes him towards the conference room. The smile on his face is small. Nothing like the big tooth grin Arthur remembers from when his mom was alive.

As they enter the room side conversations cease and the entire room focuses their attention on Uther.

"Everyone, I would like you to meet my son Arthur. He has just finished his graduate studies and will be working here, along with a few other highly capable students, as interns."

Everyone greeted Arthur joyously. Arthur in turn tried to fade into the background. He joins the other interns. Amongst them is his old roommate, Percival. He actually wanted to pursue law and was frankly quite good at it. Arthur wishes he could switch places with him. His father would then have the son he wanted.

The meeting was extremely long. Or, at least it felt long to Arthur when the group was discussing how many pro-bono cases they can take on this year. He tuned out when they had reached the "public image" part of the conversation. Instead he decided to scribble on his notepad. The dark-haired boy from yesterday was still stuck in his head. Incorporating him into the story was the perfect starting point yesterday. By the time the meeting was over and his father was thanking everyone for being so patient Arthur had a full-fledge sketch of Merlin's face.

"I'd hide that before your father figures out that you weren't taking notes on how to run a meeting."

Percival's close presence has Arthur slamming the notepad shut.

"Someone I should meet?" Percival asks with raised eyebrows and a mischievous smirk.

"No, just a character from the book." Arthur tries to shrug it off. Percival doesn't believe him.

"Come on. I never get to meet any of your guys."

Arthur's head snaps to his father, trying to figure out if he had heard or not. Luckily his father was busy talking to a short curly haired man.

"shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Maybe that's because you can't keep your mouth shut!"He glances back at his father and pulls Percival a little further away.

"Besides, it's kind of hard to have a boyfriend when you're living with your father who still has no idea your gay."

Percival has a response ready but is interrupted by Uther calling his son over. "Arthur! Come over here I'd like you to meet someone."

Arthur turns back to Percival and gives him a stern glare. Percival is unscathed and completely at ease. He feels the need to add, "This conversation isn't over."

"Arthur!"

Arthur walks over to his father and quickly apologizes for his rude behavior.

"Just make sure it doesn't happen again. Arthur, this is Mordred. He's about to make partner." Uther gestures to a semi-short, curly haired man. He was grinning from ear to ear, like he had just received the most fantastic news. "I have assigned him the task of making sure you become a thriving part of this firm."

Mordred extends his hand to grasp Arthurs. "It's nice to meet you."

"Same, here it's a pleasure."

Uther is practically glowing at his son's manners.

"Well then," Uther says. "I'll let you two begin your day. Mordred, Arthur is completely at your disposal, anything you need I am sure he will be more than happy to get for you." He sends a warning glance to Arthur then shakes Mordred's hand and is out the door.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to crush you with work. Just basic stuff for now." Mordred looks at his watch. "I have a meeting with a client. Why don't you tag along, sit in?"

Arthur nods and follows him out the door.

* * *

><p>Merlin yawns. His head droops and just before it hits his textbook he yanks it back up. Shaking his head seems to help him get ahold of his surroundings.<p>

Gwaine laughs. He's sweeping the floor just in front of the table. "He's not coming tonight. Why don't you go home and get some rest. Don't you have a big exam tomorrow morning before work? I don't think being stood up is the way they told you to study."

Merlin starts to pack up. It's true he did have a huge exam tomorrow. "I don't know what you are talking about. I came here to study, that's all."

Gwaine sets the broom aside and folds his arms. All evidence of joking is gone. "Merlin, I know you felt like there was something, but if past events have taught you anything it should be that you have horrible luck when it comes to guys. Maybe it's time you take a break. Focus on your school. I'm surprised they even let you stay after last semester. He clearly doesn't fancy you back Merlin. Let him go."

Merlin gives in. "You're right. My dad can't save my ass from flunking out of med school a second time."

"I'm sorry what was that part about me being right?" Gwaine acts like he hadn't heard it.

Merlin shoves him on the way out the door. "Piss off."

**Please review!**


	3. Unprofessional

**So, I'm a big fat liar who can't get anything done on time to save my life. My almost full free day yesterday turned into a let's watch movies in every class day. Although this chapter is almost twice as long as the first! This chapter really sets the story sailing so updates are going to be slightly further apart now. Like weekly. Hopefully every Wednesday.**

"deet…..deet…DEEEEEET!" Arthur rolls over and smacks the alarm clock. His eyes only opening for a second, barely catching the time. When his brain finally catches up his eyes go wide.

"Shit!" He throws his covers back and jumps out of bed, but his pajama pants get stuck in the covers and he shakes his leg trying to break free. His laptop falls from the mess of blankets and hits the floor with a crash. Arthur had fallen asleep typing last night and had forgotten that it was there.

"Great!" this was just the way he needed to start his day. Luckily the laptop looked unharmed. Well, externally at least. He bends and picks it up and sets it back on the bed. He glances at the clock and once again realizes just how late his night of story writing has left him. He goes to dig another monkey suit out of the closet.

* * *

><p>"Sorry I'm late." One of Arthur's pants' legs is still unevenly rolled up with the other.<p>

"I slept through my alarm clock and then my car…." But Mordred just holds up his hands and shakes his head.

"It's perfectly fine. I hadn't had much planned for the morning anyways. I was just planning to head out to lunch. Would you like to come with?"

Arthur hesitates and looks back to the door, half expecting to see his angry father standing there.

"No worries, I told your father you were running some errands for me before you came in. As far as I can tell he thinks you left the house before him this morning." Mordred reassures Arthur as he grabs his keys and his jack. "Come on, we'll walk. I know this great place just a few blocks down. That way no more car troubles can occur."

Arthur agrees without hesitation now. Perhaps Mordred isn't going to be as horrible to work for as Arthur originally thought.

As the two walk out the building and start down the block Mordred begins the conversation. "So, what's like having Uther as a father?"

Arthur laughs. "Probably just slightly worse than it is as having him as a boss."

Mordred joins in with his own small chuckle. "And lucky you get to experience both."

"Yeah, he can be quite intimidating. It was easier when my mom was alive. She always brought out the better side of him."

"Oh, he has one of those." Mordred is surprised.

Arthur smiles sadly. "Not recently."

Mordred seems to realize he has hit a sore spot. "My apologizes. I didn't mean to bring it up I just thought…."

"That you could get some kind of inside scoop on the boss from training his son, I understand. Sorry to disappoint though. There's not much more than what you see at work. He has no home life. His work is his family. Hell, you probably know him more than I do."

Mordred nods. "Right. So, the client from yesterday, we should really discuss her case. I'm really looking forward to seeing how you would approach this."

"Is it really a good idea to let the intern brainstorm ideas?" Arthur asks as he steps through the door Mordred holds open for him.

"Nothing wrong with thinking. It's you're actions that cause the dominoes destroying effect."

Arthur doesn't laugh along this time. He had stopped listen the moment he had walked through the door and realized that he had just walked into the same restaurant he had spent the entire day at two days ago. He eyes quickly scan the room to discover that Merlin wasn't there. He lets out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. The last thing he wanted was for someone from his other life, no matter how distantly related to it they were, to pop up in his father's world. He wants to suggest they go somewhere. In fact he is just thinking up a good excuse not to eat here when a waiter with shoulder length brown hair appears to seat them.

When Mordred accepts the man begins to lead them towards one of the tables sitting in the center of the room. It may just be his imagination, but Arthur would swear that the waiter's eyes linger on him longer than necessary. Before Arthur can assume that the man recognizes him, the man just introduces himself as their server, Gwaine, and then walks away.

Arthur is drawn from his thoughts once again by Mordred's words.

"Now, the first thing we need to look at with this case is...?"

Arthur's response is automatic. He already knew exactly how he would conduct the entire case. He's relieved to have a distraction, but his posture still remains rigid. "Is whether or not she has any legal claim to the ring. Seeing as it was a gift there is some argument that he gave forfeited his ownership rights. But,..."

His eyes catch sight of a tall figure rushing towards the kitchen, backpack on the shoulders and black hair just as untamed as before. Crap.

"But?" Mordred prompts. He turns to see exactly what has caught Arthur's eye. He just barely gets a glimpse of Merlin disappearing through the kitchen door.

"Sorry, thought I saw someone I know." He tries to regain his thought leaning in closer and placing his arms on the table. He's trying to focus on the conversation just as much as he is trying to demand Mordred's attention. "But, the number one rule of law is always think like the opposing side. And I'm betting the ex-husband has a lawyer that knows that. They're going to have a counter argument ready. Therefore we need a second claim. A stronger one."

Mordred's brow furrows and he also leans forward. "But why go to so much extra work to prepare to argue a more difficult claim if we plan to use the other first. Why not start out with the stronger claim and skip over the easy one?"

"That's obvious. See, in the long run it's going to help us and hurt the plaintiff. We argue the weak claim first. If we're lucky they are unprepared and we win just like that. However, on the very likely possibility that the opposing lawyers do have a well organized counterargument ready we turn to a more concrete claim. The plaintiff is going to be caught of guard. He's still focused on the first claim and is going to request more time to reconstruct their own claim. Its a fake out and we're already one step ahead of them."

Mordred is quiet, thinking. He moves his right hand and brushes his fingers across Arthur's left forearm which rests on the table between them. A smile plays at his lips.

"Uther really doesn't give you enough credit. You know your stuff."

Arthur retracts his arms, wary of the man now.

"Thanks." He says slowly.

"Really," Mordred says sincerely. "you've probably spent countless hours studying, never having time to do something ...fun." At the last word Mordred reaches under the table placing his hand just above Arthur's right knee.

Immediately Arthur is standing. He's just about to tell Modred off when...

"Arthur!"

* * *

><p>Merlin struggles through the test. Maybe studying until 2am wasn't a good idea. He had been hoping to get done early so he could make it in time for his shift but by the time he turns in the blue book its already 20 minutes past when he was supposed to clock in. He rushes to catch the bus. Buddy and May were so going to fire him.<p>

He bursts through the kitchen out of breath from the five blocks he just jogged from the nearest bus stop. He has his excuses ready.

"Don't worry, I already told them I said you could come in an hour late incase your test took longer. You're technically 20 minutes early." Gwaine says.

Merlin sighs in relief. Gwaine really was the best friend anyone could have. "Thanks, I owe you one."

"You owe me nothing as long as you passed that test." Gwaine says sternly.

"Not making any promises." Merlin says as he goes to hang his backpack on a hook next to everyone else stuff. "So, have we been busy?"

"Not really, but I did find out why that blonde bloke wasn't interested. He's out there right now with his boyfriend." Gwaine points his thumb towards the dinning room.

"What! Why didn't you start with that!" Merlin rushes to peek out the round window in the out door.

Gwaine follows and watches from behind Merlin. "I thought you would be more interested in the fact that your job was safe."

Merlin is focused on the table in the exact center of the room. He watches as the older man reaches out to stroke Arthur's arm. Arthur retreats.

Merlin frowns. "That's not his boyfriend look at the way he just pulled away."

"Merlin," Gwaine warns. "you promised."

Merlin doesn't seem to hear him. At that moment the man tries to feel Arthur up under the table and Arthur clearly does not welcome the contact.

Something in Merlin snaps as he watches the blonde stand. And Merlin doesn't even stop to question his actions or even to consider if Arthur really is gay, he's walking out the door and calling out the blonde's name.

"Arthur!"


	4. Questions

**So. I am the biggest liar ever. Sorry. This week started with a mental breakdown and a rude awakening on college application deadlines. I have the next chapter planned and was going to combine it with this one but wanted to give you guys something so here's a short chapter.**

Arthur turns to see Merlin quickly strolling towards their table.

Without hesitation Merlin throws his arm around the blonde's shoulders.

"I didn't think you were going to have time to stop by today! Thank you for that note this morning. It was sweet of you to remember I had an exam."

Arthur remains still, his brain is still trying to process what Merlin is thinking. Merlin decides to give him an even bigger hint as he turns to Mordred.

"Hello!" He holds out a hand and Mordred shakes it. "You two must work together. Sorry, I don't know your name. He's always so secret about his work life."

Merlin looks adoringly at Arthur. Arthur can't speak anymore, even if he wants to. Merlin's eyes leave him speechless. "It's probably why he's been so tense since he walked through the door."

Mordred clears his throat to draw the attention of both men before introducing himself to Merlin. The moment Merlin's eyes look away Arthur regains the ability to think and now panic raises in his veins. His father cannot find out about his sexuality, especially not from Mordred. His heart beats frantically at Mordred's next words.

"I should get back to the office. Arthur…." His eyes rack up and down Merlin, lingering a few extra milliseconds on the arm still wrapped around Arthur. "Why don't you take the rest of the day off?"

Arthur couldn't let him go back to the firm alone. Besides he really hasn't done any work tonight. He's about to object when Mordred calms his worries, at least for the moment. "Your father will never know. He's working on a big case. He doesn't quite keep up with the interns anyways."

Arthur knows it's true. Interns never catch the boss' attention unless they drastically screw up. Not even the intern that is his son. So Arthur gives Mordred a small nod and watches as the man walks out the door.

Arthur slumps down in the chair he previously abandoned, head in hands. He knows Mordred won't get the chance to say anything today, but he doesn't want him mentioning something in front of his father. Arthur knows he needs to tell Mordred _something_ before his father finds out. Maybe if he just tells him the truth; that Uther has no idea about his son's relationships. But, would Mordred stay quiet for him?

Merlin sits down in the seat across from Arthur. "And here I was beginning to think you weren't actually gay, when in fact it was just because you were a fancy lawyer too stuck up to mingle with the likes of a simple student struggling through med school. "

Merlin's voice has a hint of a tease to it.

Arthur looks up, not really in the mood for this, but the stress and worries are pushed to the back of his mind the moment his eyes meet Merlin's. His entire body relaxes and he joins in. "I thought you were a waiter."

"And I thought you were a writer." Merlin retorts.

Arthur opens his mouth then shuts it again. He realizes he has no more misconceptions to call him out on. He settles for challenging him a different way instead. "What makes you so sure I'm not straight?"

Merlin laughs. "You would have thrown my arm off the moment I flung it around your shoulder. You would have explained to Mordred that you didn't reciprocate his feelings because you're not attracted to men in that way. But, you didn't. Due to your reaction, I'm not so willing to believe you're that good of an actor."

"Well, you did believe I was a writer." Arthur's smile is smug.

"Merlin leans back and takes a long look at Arthur. "That wasn't an act."

Arthur's face contorts in confusion. "What wasn't?"

Merlin takes a moment to process his thoughts before answering, choosing his words carefully.

"I saw you the other night. You were so engrossed, so into what you were writing. I've seen that kind of passion before, you can't fake that. No matter how good of an actor you are. Today, you came in here a completely different person. Nervous, tense, completely uncomfortable in that suit you're wearing. And when you speak, it's guarded. Yes, you are a lawyer, but after watching the way you wrote nonstop the other night, there is not a doubt in my mind that you are not, first and foremost, a writer."

Although Arthur is holding onto every word only one part stands out to him. "You've been watching me?"

Merlin blushes and adverts his eyes. "All I'm trying to say is that any story written with that kind of passion is a story I'd like to hear."

Arthur smiles. "Maybe, you will."

Merlin's head snaps back to Arthur. "Really?"

Merlin's excited face reminds Arthur that everything he's written recently has involved the character that very closely resembles the man sitting in front of him. He's not ready to admit that. He looks for a chance to change the subject. "Speaking of a story, didn't you promise me one?"

"No," Merlin smiles at the disappointment on Arthur's face. "I promised you a good one."

Arthur joins in with Merlin's snicker. "Let's hear it then."

Merlin scooches forward and leans closer to Arthur. He opens his mouth to begin when …

"Honestly Merlin! Even when you're early, you're still late!" Gwaine throws an apron at Merlin's face and walks away, not even acknowledging Arthur.

Merlin sighs, stands up and starts to wrap the apron around his waist. "Sorry. Why don't you come back at six? I know you have the rest of the day off."

Arthur agrees and watches as Merlin walks over to the kitchen and dodges Gwaine's hand as it tries to slap him on the back of the head.


	5. Movie

**Five day weekend! Yay! Guys I got to sleep more than 5 hours! Okay, so this chapter is the longest one yet. I know the relationship is going to be progressing fast but I'd like everyone to keep in mind that everything that happened in ****_Dirty Dancing _****happened in a period of three weeks. Fiction doesn't follow realistic time constraints. There is a bit of foreshadowing in this chapter too. I hope you all enjoy.**

"They didn't!" Arthur gasps.

Merlin is still laughing. "Oh, but they did."

They are walking down the street. Merlin had refused to tell Arthur where they are going. The sky is fading quickly and Arthur really has no idea. Merlin had finally gotten around to telling Arthur about the time Buddy and May had found a certain customer particularly annoying and had decided to put his steak through the dishwasher before giving it back to him after he asked for less sauce.

"Isn't that against some kind of health code?" Arthur asks.

Merlin pretends to think about it. "Only if they had put soap on it."

Arthur just laughs along. He doesn't think he will ever get enough of Merlin's dorky smile.

Merlin follows a natural route. He had known where he and Arthur were going from the moment he had asked Arthur to join him.

Their laughter dies as Merlin lead Arthur into a grass field filled with people sitting on lawn chairs, blankets and some even just on the grass itself.

"Merlin!" A young woman runs forward and hugs Merlin, burying her face in his neck.

Merlin laughs, "Hi Gwen."

Gwen pulls back. "We haven't seen you here in forever. Where have you been?"

Two more men approach. The first one is dark skinned and bares quite a resemblance to Gwen. The second was clearly not related to them. He's light-skinned with dark hair and just a bit of stubble.

"Well, would you look at this, Lancelot, Merlin's alive after all." The first one says with a wide grin.

Lancelot throws an arm around Gwen. His smile is mischievous. "Leon will be happy to know he won the poll."

Gwen smacks Lancelot's arm. She never approved of the poll in the first place.

Merlin glances at Arthur. For a moment he wants to run. Get away from here. But he can't do that now that Arthur has seen everyone. He looks around at the surrounding people.

"Who's this?" The darker skinned one asks.

Merlin is confused for a second before he realizes that Elyan's talking about Arthur.

"Oh, uh, Arthur this is Gwen, her fiancé Lancelot, and her brother Elyan. Everyone Arthur."

Elyan reaches out to shake Arthur's hand who is relieved to have finally been introduced. He glances at Merlin. He's frantically looking around, almost bouncing with… was that nerves?

"You should feel honored, Arthur. Merlin never brought his first boyfriend here. Hell, we never even got to…."

"Is my sister here?" Merlin interrupts Elyan.

Emmett looks perplexed. He glances around. "Haven't seen her. She hasn't been around much since the divorce. Were you expecting her?"

"No, was just wondering." Merlin looks towards the screen and before he is asked for a better excuse he says, "Look. The movies starting, we should go. We'll meet up afterwards."

Arthur is shocked when Merlin takes his hand and pulls him off to the left. He has to admit though that he's glad Merlin didn't ask for his friends to sit with them.

Merlin stops at a fallen tree and offers for Arthur to take a seat first. Merlin sits down just to his right.

They sit a watch the movie. They were showing the new Star Trek. Arthur loved the movie and sat quietly. Merlin was quiet as well, but much more filled with thoughts.

Halfway through Arthur gets tired of sitting so rigidly. He moves so that he is sitting on the ground and his back is against the fallen tree. The position was much better. He looks up to Merlin who is staring at the screen. Arthur finds this new, quiet Merlin unsettling. He reaches up to touch Merlin's arm.

Merlin looks down. He's shocked to see that Arthur is sitting there. He immediately feels like a huge jerk. He knew bringing Arthur here was a bad idea. He waits for Arthur to tell him that he was leaving, but he doesn't. Instead he asks, "Why don't you want your sister here?"

Merlin looks back to the screen just in time to watch Vulcan be destroyed. He feels like his mind is doing the same.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He says.

"Merlin, come on, I've been to law school, the first thing they teach us is how to notice if someone is nervous, makes our jobs easier." Arthur laughs, but Merlin doesn't join in.

Merlin sighs and scoots down onto the ground next to Arthur. He takes a shaky breath and doesn't look at Arthur when he speaks. "Last year I was in a serious relationship with this guy. I thought I was in love. I threw away everything for him. I flunked out of med school. I didn't see my family for months. I didn't even know my sister was getting a divorce until the paperwork was already done. We, my sister and I, we started this together." He gestures to the people sprawled out in the field all paying attention to the screen.

"This was our thing. We had so much fun fighting over movies to show and trying to get the word out." He looks down at the ground. "I stopped coming when I started dating him. He left me. Told me he just got tired of me, wanted something different. He went off to Italy and I had to face my destroyed life. My father, he's a surgeon."

Merlin stops and smiles at Arthur. "He has the same kind of passion with his work that you do."

Arthur returns the smile before Merlin's grave expression returned to his face.

"He is the reason I went to go to medical school. I want to make the same kind of difference he makes. He was so disappointed when I failed out. But, he helped me get back in and start the year over again. The school said they only did it because I was his son."

Merlin wants to cry but not in front of Arthur. "My sister hasn't talked to me since. She's so angry that I wasn't there. I should have been there to beat the crap out of her husband when he started cheating. All I cared about was me."

Merlin turns back to Arthur. The blonde is quiet. Not saying anything but Merlin knows he still hasn't answered the original question. "I swore to myself I wouldn't date again until I fixed everything with her. I brought you here to make sure I am careful. So that I don't forget my life again."

Arthur does his best to give an honest opinion. "Merlin, I like you, I want to be something to you, but I don't know. You don't technically need a relationship right now. And me, I can't tell my father I want to be a writer, let alone tell him I'm gay. I can't promise a relationship when half my life is a secret….. Maybe we shouldn't do this."

"No!" Merlin feels panic. "I want to do this. Just, if we ever run into my family I don't want you to take it personally if they treat you badly."

"Your friends didn't treat me badly." Arthur points out.

Merlin looks ashamed. "They don't know."

"Oh," Arthur is stuck for a second. "How about this. We just date, don't give labels to it. Then, there will be no pressure. Then, you don't have to feel obligated to introduce me to your family and I don't have to feel guilty for not telling my father about you. Sound good?"

Merlin smiles. "I don't know why you don't want to be a lawyer; you're really good at cutting deals."

Arthur laughs. "I have to be."

They continue to watch the movie as they continue to get to know each other. He learns about how Uther became a cold man after Arthur's mother died a few years ago. And that Arthur has always been trying to live up to the man's expectations. Arthur had come out to his best friend last year but has yet to tell anyone else. He technically had never had a relationship with a guy. Nobody wants to be committed to someone who can't tell their father about their boyfriend.

Merlin is just explaining about how he had come out in high school when they reach Arthur's car.

Arthur leans against the passenger's side door and Merlin is just a foot in front of him. He reaches out and grasps Merlin's left hand in his right. "I forgot," he says matter of factly.

He takes a small step closer so Merlin and his noses almost touch. "A quick thought," He says, "when I type something, I type faster than I write. It's there, it's done. I don't have a chance to change it because the thought changed in the middle of me writing it out. Or maybe I think of better word. Writing it down gives me the time to think. Plus if I write it down, it's still there after I cross it out. It's never permanently gone."

Merlin smiles, "Technically you can't permanently delete anything on a computer."

Arthur smiles too, "Shut up."

Arthur really wants to kiss him. But, then remembers that he promised this wouldn't be anything serious and he backs away.

"Do you need a ride home?" He asks.

Merlin is disappointed at the space but agrees.

Arthur drops him off at his brick apartment building. Before he closes the door he says, "I guess I'll see you around Arthur Pendragon."

Arthur smiles. "Yes, you will."


	6. Kiss

**Sorry, I got really sick this week. Just like me to get sick the week before my birthday right? Well, now I'm behind on homework and college applications again. But, I did just get my first acceptance letter and to celebrate I wanted to stay up late enough to finish this chapter. I hope it doesn't seem rushed. It's not the longest chapter, but also not the shortest. Warning: this chapter does contain rated R material although I tried not to make it too explicit. And one last thing, try not to hate me after reading this chapter.**

Arthur walks into the office an hour early this morning. His father was shocked to know that he was off to work before himself, but Arthur needs to talk to Mordred. As he walks into Mordred's office the man is just settling into his chair with a mug full of coffee. The sound of the door causes him to look up and he smiles at the sight of Arthur.

"You're here early. Come in, I believe we need to discuss something."

Arthur nods and steps fully in the door, closing it behind him. After another second he locks it for good measure. He doesn't want anyone interrupting. Mordred raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything until Arthur takes the seat in front of the desk.

"Due to your…" He takes another look at the door. "precautions I am willing to bet your thoughts are weighing heavy as well."

Arthur adjusts the way he's sitting. "Yes."

Mordred waits for Arthur to continue, but Arthur is uncertain on how to do so. Even after running through the conversation a hundred times in his head last night he was still nervous.

"Arthur?" Mordred leans over his desk in almost a concerned way. "Does your father know that you're gay?"

Arthur looks him in the eye. He didn't think it would be so easy. Maybe it was just easier because Mordred was the one who said it.

"No." Arthur says. "And I would prefer if it remained that way."

"Understandable." Mordred leans back in his chair and stands up.

"Your father doesn't seem to be very accepting." He now walks to stand behind Arthur.

Then next time Mordred speaks his lips are at Arthur's right ear. "It would be such a shame for him to find out from a co-worker."

At the feel of Mordred's lips on his neck Arthur jumps out of his seat.

He turns and faces Mordred. A shocked expression on his face. "What are you doing!"

"Arthur," He takes a step closer with every other word. "You can't honestly think I would promise not to say anything without asking for something in return."

Mordred is now standing chest to chest with Arthur whose back is against the wall from the steps he had taken to avoid the advance. Mordred snakes his hand up Arthur's leg and to the front of his pants. "Now that wouldn't be good business."

Arthur is frozen in his spot. He doesn't know what to do. He starts to squirm when Mordred unzips his pants and put his hand in. Mordred is too close and his body frame is just slightly larger, pinning Arthur to the wall. "st…stop."

But Mordred doesn't stop. Instead his hand has made it into Arthur's boxer's as well. "If I do that I'm going to tell daddy how much you love it. How much you love to have a guy's dick in your mouth." With every word he gives another tug on Arthur's own limp dick.

Arthur stops fidgeting. He considers telling Mordred no and suffering the consequences, but he can't bear to even think about his father finding out. He'd be so disappointed and disgusted. That last thing his mother had told him was to make sure his father was happy. He had promised her he would do everything he could. He couldn't break that promise. So, Arthur stands still as Mordred lowers his pants to the floor and unbuckles his own belt. Arthur picks a spot on the oppose wall and stares, trying to lose his sense of touch.

"That's right. No use fighting it." Mordred's hand grabs Arthur's chin and he kisses the younger man. It's rough. Arthur has never kissed another man before and he hopes not every kiss will be like this. He feels like he's suffocating. Mordred's lips will probably bruise his with the force and his tongue is alien to his mouth.

Neither speaks as Mordred turns Arthur around and presses his chest to the wall. He takes lubricant from his coat pocket and quickly prepares Arthur. When he finely enters Arthur's face hits the walls and silent tears fall down his cheeks from both the pain and the disgust with himself.

Mordred grunts behind him. When he's finished he backs away and pulls up his pants. He walks to his desk and throws the lubricant in a draw.

"Go to the bathroom," he says to Arthur, "compose yourself. Our client should be here in fifteen minutes. "

Arthur straightens his close and wipes the tear stains from his eyes. He doesn't respond and just walks towards the door. His hand is on the knob when Mordred calls him again.

"And Arthur, if anyone is to hear of these events your father will find the address of that lovely restaurant your boyfriend works at on his desk."

Arthur gives him no sign that he heard him as he walks out the door and down the hall, but Mordred is sure Arthur will not say a word.

In the bathroom Arthur stands in front of the mirror looking at his reflection. Somehow he no longer likes the way he looks. He pushes back more tears as he splashes water on his face. He can't think about how he had just lost his virginity to his boss. He needs to focus so nobody notices that something's wrong, so Merlin stays safe from his father's anger. He takes a deep breath and walks back to the office.

For the rest of the day Arthur barely says a word. He sits and listens during second to last meeting they will have with their client before trial. He has lunch with Percival who tries to get him out of his mood, but resigns when he realizes Arthur's bad mood won't easily be blown away. Afterwards Arthur runs around doing errands for Mordred, making copies and checking facts for the upcoming trial. The entire time the only thing Arthur can think of is Mordred kissing him and how wrong it felt.

At the end of the work day Arthur finds himself driving towards a place he has never been to before. He consults the pieces of paper one more time before knocking on the white door of apartment 4101.

"Arthur." Merlin is surprised to see the man at his front door.

Arthur doesn't say a word. He just leans in and crushes his lips to Merlin's. His right hand snakes into the jet black hair and his left rests on the back of Merlin's neck.

This kiss is different from the one this morning. Better, more passionate. Merlin's lips are soft against his and their tongues move together. It's perfect, all Arthur had wished it would be. When Arthur pulls back Merlin still has a shocked expression on his face.

"I forgot to do that last night." Arthur says, trying to catch his breath.

Merlin smiles panting along with Arthur.

"Did you want to come in? Order a pizza?" Merlin steps out of the way to let Arthur in, but the blonde just shakes his head. If he goes in he would be breaking his promise of keeping this casual. As much as he wants to call Merlin his he won't push him.

"I have to get home." He says.

Merlin catches his arm. "I have a family thing to go to tomorrow morning, but I'm free the entire afternoon."

Arthur looks Merlin in the eyes. "I can't, I have somewhere to be tomorrow"

Merlin smiles at the lame excuse he is hearing for the second time. He lets go of Arthur and accepts the excuse this time. "Okay."

He turns to close his door.

"But," Arthur stops the door. "I might be able to get away around 4. I could pick you up here around 4:15?"

Merlin grins wide. "I'd like that."

When he closes the door Arthur stares at the white the kiss with Merlin still stuck in his head.


	7. Family Bonding

**I apologize a thousand times for not posting chapter in two weeks. I was really sick for a week which sucks because My 18th birthday was during that week and then it has been spirit week for my schools rivalry game which is front page news in this town and we play for a barrel which me lost for the first time in four years and we all cried because we were the senior class to loose the barrel and don;t get to see it on Monday. Now enough about me I am trying to get two chapters posted tonight if not another WILL be uploaded tomorrow. I know some of you were very upset about last chapter. I'm sorry but that will not be resolved for a while and I have a couple more curve-balls planned before Merlin finds out sorry. Enjoy!**

There are no other sounds in the room other than the clinking of silverware on plates and glasses being set back down on the table as Arthur and his father eat the breakfast Arthur had made for them. Uther sits at the head of the table and Arthur is directly to his right. He stares at the empty chair at the other end.

Arthur picks at his plate. He doesn't have much appetite even if his cooking skills were better. There are very few days of the year that his father and he eat in the dining room and this has to be the one with the least appetizing food sitting on the table.

His father hasn't ate anything either. Arthur looks at the clock and pushes away his plate of slightly burnt pancakes, "The florist should be open by now, shall we go?"

Uther says nothing, just stands and Arthur moves to clear their plates.

* * *

><p>The day is chilly, overcast. Arthur shrinks into his sweatshirt. Uther doesn't seem to notice the cold; he just continues to walk amongst the graves carrying a large bouquet of carnations.<p>

When they arrive Uther kneels down to place the flowers so that they don't cover her name. He kisses the stone and as he stands back up Arthur wonders what excuse he will give the dry cleaners for the large stains on his suit pants.

Arthur stands silently staring at his mother's grave, listening to his father telling her how everything was going great; that the firm was doing well, that he still took every Tuesday off because it was their day. He tells her that she should be so proud of Arthur. That her son has just started at the firm and has already amazed the man he was working under.

As he goes on to describe how much he misses he Arthur remains quiet. This was his father's time. Arthur was simply there because his father could never bear to go alone. He has always asked his son to come for support. Arthur would return later, like always. Twilight had been her favorite time. When she was alive Uther always pulled himself away from the office just before dark just to go home and enjoy dinner with his wife and son. If it wasn't for his father's growing sadness throughout this day every year Arthur thinks he too would come during twilight.

When Uther finishes and the two return home Uther locks himself in his study and Arthur heads to the attic in for Marty.

* * *

><p>"So I hear you went to the movie the other night?"<p>

"hmmm?" Merlin looks up from his plate of food, clearly having heard none of the previous conversation nor the question his sister had asked.

"The weekly movie night we started? I heard you were there." Morgana takes a sip of her drink, her face constructed into the perfect poker face.

Merlin readjusts himself nervously in his seat. He should have known one of his friends would have told Morgana.

"I was looking for you." He tries to match her composure, but doesn't do as well.

"That's funny; I would have thought you would be glad I wasn't there, seeing as you brought that guy."

Balinor sets his glass down slowly, trying to remain calm. "What guy?" He asks Merlin.

"No one." Merlin shakes it off. "Just a friend."

Balinor tries to say something more but Morgana decides to cut in. "Elyan didn't make it seem like he was just a friend. He said he was actually quite attractive"

Merlin squirms underneath the eyes of his sister and parents. "Okay, so maybe he's alittle more than a friend, but it's nothing serious. If it were you all would have met him."

"I'm sure we would have." Morgana's voice is angry and calm at the same time. It is worse than if she had yelled.

"It was just a date." Merlin mumbles like a five year old to his plate.

"Yeah, well the last time it was 'just a date' you boarded a train that was built to wreck." Her voice was venomous and anger boiled in Merlin's bones.

"Look, I know I made a mistake, and I am trying my damn best to make up for it. I come to these weekly meals and participate in the interrogation of how med school is going. I completely ignore how all of bluntly say how much I failed and that I can't fail again. I've endured weeks or filthy looks from you! Now you want control over who I date? That's where I draw the line."

"That's where you draw the line? That's what got you into this mess in the first place! You got a boyfriend and ditched your entire family. You threw us into the streets. We didn't see you for months! I went to those movies every single week this summer hoping to see you, but you never showed up. And now you're trying to fix it?! Trying would be actually participating in the conversation at one of these meals instead of tuning us out. Trying would be making plans for us outside of these meals. You treat us like unpleasant business associates. We're your family Merlin. You're supposed to be there for us! You we're supposed to be there for me! You were supposed to punch Will in the face for breaking your sister's heart. Do you know how hard it is to walk into an office with no dignity and explain to a stranger that you weren't good enough so your husband went to someone else? Of course not, because you weren't there Merlin and you still aren't"

Merlin stands now. "Because you all make it so fucking hard."

"Merlin, language." Hunith chides.

Merlin puts his head is his hands then throws them back down in frustration. "No! You guys don't get it! It's always 'Merlin you can't do this' 'Merlin you're going to fail' Merlin you are such a failure' And now I can't even be in a serious relationship with this beautiful man because the moment a guy is mentioned you three hate him. I am a grown man. I'm sick of it! I appreciate that dad helped me back into medical school, but my life can't go back to the way it was if you guys don't forgive me and forget about it. I can't treat any of you the same way as before if you can't treat me the same way as before."

He leans forward onto the back of the chair he was sitting in, taking some deep breaths. His parents and his sister just sit and stare. The guilt eats him alive. "I don't think I can do this anymore." He says just slightly above a whisper then turns to walk out.

When he's at the front door he he's his father's voice. "Merlin, wait." He stops purely out of respect for his father, but he doesn't turn.

"Maybe we have been too hard. We raised you without a lease and when you make the first mistake we just caged you without even giving you the chance of some lease. I'm sorry. Your sister has an appointment with her lawyer tomorrow I was going to go but Dr. Neeson needs me to take his shift at the hospital could you go with her instead?"

Merlin can't tell if his dad really did have to fill in for Dr. Neeson or not, but either way he didn't want to go, but knows he should. He owes his sister that. So he shakes his head yes.

"Great, we'll see you tomorrow morning then." Merlin gives one more curt nod before walking out the door.


	8. Photographs

**Hey look at that I actually met one of my personally set deadlines. Although none of my homework is done. But, who cares? I had too much fun writing this really long chapter. Enjoy!**

At 4:00 Merlin hears a soft rap on his door and hurries to answer it. Arthur is on the other side dressed in jeans and a plain green sweatshirt. In his left hand, which dangles at his side, there is a pair of dress shoes that looked like they we're from the 50's.

Merlin smiles. He's missed that smile. "What? I'm not good enough for the suit Mr. Pendragon."

Arthur frowns then leans in to kiss Merlin. It's just a quick peck on the lips and leaves Merlin wanting more. Luckily he doesn't have to wait long because after a whispered, "shut up, Merlin." Arthur leans back in for a longer kiss, but still breaks it too short for Merlin's liking.

"Shall we go?" He says holding up the shoes and adjusting the strap on his shoulder that Merlin had failed to notice earlier. It was a small square bag made of leather. Although Merlin had no idea what the bag could contain.

"Uh, sure." Merlin walks out and locks the door behind them. When they enter the elevator Arthur still hasn't explained the objects he has brought with him.

Arthur begins to fidget with bag, but is having difficulty with the shoes in his hands and turns to hand them to Merlin who takes them from him, extremely confused.

"Uh, Arthur?" He waits until Arthur turns to him. He pulls an old camera out of the bag and starts to change the film in it before turning back to Merlin with a raised brow.

Merlin in surprised that his hands continue to change the film even though Arthur's eyes are on him. Merlin wonders where he learned it from, but right now he has a more pressing question. "Are we planning a need for new shoes sometime tonight? If, so I should have grabbed a pair before we left."

Arthur just laughs and turns back to the camera. "Oh, Merlin." He snaps together the last part of the camera's film holder and slings the strap over his neck and zips the back close. "You're an impatient person you know that right?"

They make their way out of the building and Arthur once again tries to sink further into his sweatshirt. Merlin pulls his jacket closer.

"Come on, we'll need something warm to drink." Arthur says and starts down the stairs and towards the coffee shop on the corner.

Merlin quickly falls into step with him. "Will you please tell me what we are doing?"

Arthur once again laughs and shakes his head. "If you insist." Then his face gets grave. "When I was little and my dad was just finishing law school we didn't have much money. My mom tried her best to make games up with what we had at home. One day my mom took a pair of my grandfather's shoes. That exact pair actually." He points to the shoes still in Merlin's hands.

He smiles at the memory. "She took me, the shoes, and a camera to the park. She told me that she had a friend name Marty, but he was invisible so she brought him grandpa's shoes so that we could see him. She said he needed our help. He had nothing to do that day and wanted to know what he should do."

They arrived at the shop and Arthur holds the door open for Merlin.

"So, we're meeting you're imaginary friend today?"

Arthur smiles and gets closer to whisper into Merlin's ear, "patience, Merlin." He steps up to the counter, orders two coffees and pays for them before continuing. He leans against the counter. "My mom would have me place the shoes around the park and make up a story of how Marty would spend the day. She would take a picture of each place we put them." He looks out the windows, caught up in the memory. "We never wrote down the stories but we always remembered them all." He turns back to Merlin who is watching him intently now. "It's the reason why I fell in love with telling stories, why I want to be a writer. Those were the best days."

They get their coffees and walk out the door. Arthur turns to face Merlin. "So, I thought we would do that today. You place the shoes and I make up the story. Maybe you'll learn a thing about writing a good plotline."

Merlin laughs. "ha, ha, very funny.

"Yes. So, where to?" Arthur asks.

Merlin looks down at the shoes still in his hands then back to Arthur and smiles. "Come on." And they start down the street.

The streets near Merlin's apartment building are lined with trees. A few blocks down and he walks up to one and sets the shoes on a low branch. He turns to Arthur who has already set down his coffee and getting the camera ready. "Once upon a time…" Merlin begins.

"Marty sat in a tree, pondering his plans for the day. He had big plans, very big plans." And with that he snaps a picture of the shoes in the tree.

Merlin stands close behind Arthur. Almost touching. They both stare at the shoes and then it hits Merlin. "You already have this entire story planned out don't you?"

Arthur doesn't say anything he just smiles.

Merlin picks up Arthur's coffee and hands it back to him. "So, what are these big plans Marty has today?"

"Patience, Merlin." He steals a quick kiss from the black haired boy's lips and then goes to grabs the shoes and continues down the street.

"I think patience is going to have to be your friend today. See, now that I know you have the entire story planned out I'm going to enjoy trying to throw you off that plan."

"Good luck with that." Arthur answers.

No matter how strangely Merlin placed the shoes in the most peculiar of places Arthur still seemed to never stray from the story he had set up in his head. At each spot Marty places an envelope for a certain friend of his to find. Arthur really does place an envelope in the background of each picture he takes; against the leg of the bench at the bus stop Marty sat at, at the top of the slide Marty slide down, and in between two books in the library Marty went to. After Arthur snaps a picture of the shoes and an envelope on a rock next to a lake he looks at his watch. "Looks like Marty only had enough time for one more stop."

"Or maybe you're just running out of story?" Merlin asks hopefully. He is really enjoying the time with Arthur and doesn't want it to end.

Arthur gives him a small smile. He too wishes he could stay but he still needs to return to the cemetery today. "Sorry, I have plans for tonight."

"Oh." Merlin jumps to the conclusion that Arthur was actually committed to the whole "just casually dating" thing and sounds disappointed.

Arthur wants to tell him, but he's not ready. He just looks around. "So, let's see a real challenge. Where does Marty end his night?"

Merlin's face lights up. "I've been waiting for this one all night." And he hurries off toward the main road.

A ten minute cab ride later and they are back near the side of town where Uther's firm is. Merlin leads Arthur towards an abandoned building. Merlin walks down the alley and opens a window.

"Merlin! What are you doing?" Arthur glances around nervously hoping no one sees them.

"Going inside." Merlin says and climbs through the window. "You coming?" He calls to Arthur.

Arthur nervously looks around one more time before grudgingly following Merlin into the building.

Arthur finds himself alone in a hall. To his right is an empty kitchen and further down is a door that is still swinging back and forth. Arthur heads toward it. Merlin is standing in the center of a large room on the other side. The floor is stone and the walls are partially plastered. A few boxes are places about the room with a couple wooden chairs and in the far end is a pile of rolled up carpet having just been pulled up or being ready to be laid down.

Merlin follows his gaze to the carpet. "We just pulled that up last week. Gwaine really wants a stone floor."

Arthur remains speechless, still looking around the room.

"What do you think?" Merlin asks.

Arthur gives up and has to ask. "What is this place?"

"This," Merlin raises his arms to gesture to the rundown room. "is my friend's restaurant. Or at least it will be when we finally get it renovated."

"It…..looks like a work in progress." Arthur really couldn't bring himself to lie.

Merlin lets out a chuckle. "Yeah. And I bet Marty agrees." He sets the shoes down where he stands and backs away so Arthur won't get him in the picture.

Arthur snaps a photo. "Actually this is the perfect place." He nods for Merlin to come to him and shows him the photo he had just taken. "Marty's party is a huge success; everyone he invited had showed up, if only they hadn't forgotten their shoes."

Merlin stares at the camera he can't believe Arthur had done it. He told the entire story without once faltering despite Merlin's best attempt to throw him off. But there was still one last unanswered question. "What was in the envelopes?" He asks.

Arthur sets his camera bag down and the camera next to it. He digs out one last envelope from the side of the camera bag and walks across the room. Merlin follows and sits down next to him on the pile of old carpet.

Arthur looks at the envelope and takes a deep breath. "Here." He hands the envelope over to Merlin who opens it and reads.

_This world is just one big ball of chaos. But, it is crucial to remember that you live an experience every moment of every day and one single moment is no better nor worse than the one it follows or proceeds. In this moment, right now, you just happen to be the most beautiful human I have ever seen. Never lose yourself because you are important._

Merlin looks back to Arthur who has been watching him closely.

"They're all hand-written." Arthur says. "Typing would kind of ruin the point of writing it in the first place. I hope that whoever opens it feels good about him, or herself, maybe make a good day out of a bad one. If that would be all, I would be content."

Neither say a thing. Their hands just dance together between them.

After a few moments Merlin finally speaks. "Arthur?"

"Yes?"

His dark eyes meets bright blue, his voice is barely above a whisper. "I don't want this to be just a casual thing."

"Me neither."

Their lips finally close the space between them and Merlin doesn't think he will ever get tired of kissing the blonde. Their lips move together perfectly. They come up for air, resting their foreheads against each other's and panting. Arthur's hand runs along Merlin's neck before they continue. Arthur's hand wrap around Merlin's neck and Merlin's hands travel to Arthur's chest. Both just needed this right then in their lives. They need the want, the feeling of being protected. They need love. Merlin begins kissing down Arthur's neck.

"Does this mean I get to call you my boyfriend now?" Arthur pants into his ear.

Merlin chuckles. "I like the sound of that."

Their lips meet again, but this time Merlin's hands decide to explore more. He moves them down towards Arthur's pants, then picks one up and replaces it on the blonde's knee, traveling up this time.

The image of Mordred's smiling, cocky face flashes behind Arthur's closed eyelids and he jumps away.

"Arthur?"

"I'm sorry." He stands up and walks back over to his camera bag. He quickly gather's his things up and goes for his grandfather's shoes next. Merlin stops him by catching his wrist.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No," Arthur's hands come up to cup Merlin's face. "God, no. I had a wonderful day." He closes his eyes for a second and calms his breathing. His hands drop from Merlin's face. "I just have dinner with my father and if I'm not home for it in time he's going to start asking questions ." He feels horrible for lying and for admitting once again he has no plans to tell his father.

"It's okay." Merlin reassures him. "Go, I'll call you later."

Arthur smiles. He bends down to pick up the shoes and leaves Merlin standing alone in the room.


	9. Plummet

**So, this is a very short chapter for several reasons. It was a bitch to write first of all. I wanted to try to write a different kind of chapter for this scene and I wanted it to be separate from the big plot twist that comes next. However, writing the chapter the way I did was difficult for me. And then there is the content. Warning this is a sad chapter. I found out my crush likes me back and we're going on a date tonight. So naturally it was hard to write something sad when I'm excited. But, with every high there is always a plummet. And I was able to finish during an anxiety attack yesterday. I'm still not very proud of it but I think it's important to the story line so here it is.**

This time Arthur doesn't notice the cold wind that sweeps through the cemetery. It typically was cold when he came to visit his mom and he didn't really much care. When he reaches his grave he sits down and stares at the headstone. It has always been a much different experience coming here alone than it was when he was with his father. It's more relaxed, not as guarded. He thinks of his father at home, probably still shut up in his study.

"Dad really does miss you."

He can barely bring himself to say the next thing and tries to encourage himself with a deep breath.

"I do too…. I need to tell you something."

He hangs his head, ashamed.

"You probably already know, but I should have told you sooner. You should have heard it from me when you were still alive….I've met someone.

He can't help but smile as he thinks of the way her face would have lit up if she was still here for him to tell her face to face. He closes his eyes, takes in the image and then erases it before opening his eyes again. He doesn't want to see her response to his next words.

"His name's Merlin. And he's great. He has that same silly air to him that you had."

Now he's crying. Because it feels so good to say it out loud. Because a weight is lifted off his back. Because he knows his mom is listening and she is proud. Because he knows she would hug him if she could. Because he wants to hug her back and never let go. Never let her fall into the ground he sits on.

He ignores the tears and continues.

"Dad really is doing well, granted he spends most of his time at work now. I think he just can't take that house being so empty. It was always a big house, but somehow you made it feel small and warm. Now, it just feels like a field with a very bad, cold wind blowing. I miss that most of all; your warmth."

The tears have run dry.

"I wish you could be with me when I tell dad. I know I let him go on yet again about how great a lawyer I will be. I promised you I would tell him, but he's happier than I've seen him in a long time. Hell, he even smiled when he was here this morning."

He hangs his head.

"I can't take that away from him." He whispers.

Rain begins to fall and Arthur thinks of his father's face that morning; how he had been so excited that Arthur was doing _great_ according to Mordred. He stands and kicks the headstone to the right of his mother's.

"Why did he have to say he's heard wonderful things?"

He kneels down next to his mom's grave this time and leans his head against the stone that marked the grave of the person who was supposed to help him in this situation.

His voice is barely audibly but still he says it. "He raped me, that's why dad has only heard wonderful things, because I let him."

Arthur's sides ache. He can't handle the pain. He can't think about his father's disappointment if he finds out his son is gay and the disgust if he hears of Arthur just letting someone take advantage of him. He can't handle it lays down on his side next to the stone. Eventually sleep overcomes him and takes away the pain.


	10. Bad Day

**I know there is no excuse for not posting a chapter in so long. So I'm not even going to give one. Enjoy!**

Arthur is woken up by something nudging his foot. He blinks his eyes and takes in the overcast sky above. He finds the nudge on his foot to be a man poking Arthur with a long stick. It wouldn't be the first time the caretaker has come across a dead body in this cemetery on his morning rounds.

Arthur slowly sits up and looks around. It takes him a second to realize he is still in the cemetery wearing his sweats. Then he notices that the sun has already risen and he turns hastily back to the caretaker.

"What time is it?"

The man squints through his glasses at the watch on his wrist.

"7:30."

"Crap!" Arthur jumps up. He snatches his shoulder bag from the ground and sprints away leaving the caretaker standing at his mother's grave.

* * *

><p>Arthur walks into Mordred's office at exactly 8:05. He is out of breath and still trying to straighten his tie.<p>

Mordred looks up from his paperwork and smiles.

"Nice of you to try to make it here on time for once, but luckily our client is also running late." He greets Arthur as he steps around his desk and walks toward the intern.

He reaches up and finishes straightening Arthur's tie for him. Arthur picks a spot on the wall and stares. When Mordred has fixed Arthur's tie and collar to his liking he reaches up and dabs the tips of three fingers to his tongue before slicking back a bit of Arthur's hair and pulling a piece of grass out of the blonde locks. He takes a step back and looks at the improvements.

"That's better. Looks like you had some fun last night." Mordred holds up the grass from Arthur's hair, "Hopefully not too much fun."

Arthur wishes he could just slap the smirk off of Mordred's face.

"Not at all." He replies dryly.

Mordred nods towards the coffee pot in the corner of the room. "Why don't you get yourself some coffee."

Arthur goes to pour himself awhile Mordred returns to his desk.

There is a quiet knock at the open door.

"sir? The divorce case is here."

Mordred thanks his secretary and instructs her to let their client in while Arthur adds sugar to his coffee.

"Sorry we're late." Arthur silently thanks her for not being present for his own late arrival as he turns around to face the room. He almost drops the mug in his hand, spilling most of the hot beverage down his front in the process.

Their client is sitting in one of the chairs across from Mordred's desk. Frozen in the doorway is Merlin. Mordred looks like Christmas had just decided to come two months early.

Arthur's brain finally catches up with his sensory nerves and he starts to feel the burn from the coffee. He sets the mug down and grabs a napkin to start dabbing at his ruined shirt.

"Are you okay?" Morgana asks.

"yeah" Arthur looks back to Merlin who hasn't taken his eyes off the intern. "Hi"

Morgana seems to just remember that Merlin is with her. "oh yes, this is my brother.."

"Merlin, right?" Mordred interrupts and goes to shake Merlin's hand. At Morgana's confused expression he explains further. "I believe we have all been acquainted before."

"Really?' Morgana asks.

Merlin and Arthur both hesitate. Neither knows how to get out of the situation, both waiting to follow the other's lead. Mordred decides the lead for them.

"Arthur and I had lunch at the restaurant Merlin works at he was our server."

Both Merlin and Arthur visibly let out breaths they had been holding.

"Oh, small world isn't it?" Morgana says.

"Yes, yes it is." Mordred gestures for Merlin to sit and they start the meeting. Arthur has given up on his shirt for the moment.

"Tell us," Mordred begins, "were you able to think of anything that would cause extra emotional damage?"

Morgana shakes her head. "I'm sorry, no."

"And you didn't know the woman he was having an affair with?" Arthur confirms.

Merlin looks up at Arthur. His eyes are ice and he says nothing. For the entire meeting he sits there silently, mostly looking at the floor.

Once the siblings are out the door Arthur tries to excuse himself to go and fix his shirt, but Mordred asks him to wait for a second.

He goes to close the door and turns to the now nervous Arthur.

"My little cover up for you will not go unpaid for. You're father came and talked to me yesterday. He wants to see you practicing. He'll be there Monday and he expects to see you running the case." He starts to walk forward. "I have given him nothing but wonderful reviews of your skills." He comes shoulder to shoulder with Arthur and now speaks in his ear. "That will also not go unrewarded and will continue as long as you behave."

Mordred waits until he is at his desk before telling Arthur that he can go and to make some copies of their case notes on his way back.

* * *

><p>Morgana pulls on Merlin's arm and whispers in his ear. "Now he's one I would approve of."<p>

"What?" Merlin asks.

Morgana nods her head and Merlin follows the gesture across the receptionist area to where Arthur is walking towards the bathroom studying his ruined shirt. "He couldn't keep his eyes off you."

Merlin blushes then leans other to whisper back, "Keep it down. He's not out yet. Later I'll introduce you properly, when we're not surrounded by people he knows."

Morgana's face is shocked. Merlin laughs he has missed sharing everything with her. Merlin looks back towards the bathroom. "Do you mind?"

Morgana just smiles. "I'll wait in the car but we're going out to lunch."

Merlin agrees and walks on to the bathroom where he finds Arthur mumbling about a monkey suit.

"I don't believe the suit is the problem. The person in the suit however…"

Arthur looks up. "Very funny." He wasn't in the mood for joking. "I only have three of these." He gives up on the shirt all together and turns his full attention towards Merlin.

"Never in a million years would I have guessed I would be in that position. I'm sorry. I hope your sister bought it."

"Not at all." To Merlin's amusement Arthur's face becomes alarmed. "She noticed how you couldn't keep your eyes off me. But it's okay I think it finally broke down the wall between us. I should be thank you for your uncontrollable staring." Merlin slowly walks towards Arthur as he speaks.

Arthur looks back at his shirt and remembers how he is to take over the case in the court room and how he had been late this morning. "Well at least I can do something right."

Merlin sets his hand on Arthurs on the counter. "…"

The door begins to open and the two men jump apart.

Uther takes in the scene before him. "What happened to your suit?"

Arthur searches for words. "Bad day." Is all he can come up with.

Merlin makes his exit and Uther walks over to the sink. "I hope this doesn't have to do with whatever caused you not to come home last night." Arthur's mouth drops open in shock. "Yes, I know about that. Arthur, you need to stop these shenanigans. There is a reason I asked Mordred to let you take this case." He turns to look Arthur in the eyes. "You need to grow up."

Uther left Arthur staring at his ruined shirt in the mirror. He sighs and goes back to his terrible day.


End file.
